We've been in Madrid just shy of 5 months, so we've had our fair
share of tapas. Here's what we've learned so far about how to enjoy a proper tapa
experience. (If you need to
wikipedia prep yourself on what tapas are all about, please do so before reading on.)
Just know that the Spanish tapa hop is about small snacking in bars and
cafeterias along with a beverage, usually beer or wine.
In our experience, the basic ingredients to a good Madrid tapa experience are to (1) choose
the right time; (2) play it cool when you enter the bar; and (3)
practice the art of lingering.
First, a good time to "tapa" is during the "merienda," which is
the time inbetween lunch and dinner. In Madrid, that might be roughly
between 7-9 PM. It's a good time to have a soda, beer, glass of wine or
a coffee. A friend recently said the merienda makes up the third meal
of a typical four meal Spanish day (that's breakfast, lunch, merienda,
and dinner). (Note: you can start earlier if you are on vacation or
it's the weekend.) Here's one example of our recent tapa stop for a "ca
ña" (small beer) and some manchego cheese wtih crunchy bread sticks.
Once
you've picked the right time, you need to play it cool when you enter
the bar or cafeteria. Generally, look for a place where there are
people, and you'll be in luck. Go up to the counter, and order your
drink. Hang back a bit while the waiter is getting your order. Check
out the menu, look around at the restaurant or check out the other
customers. When your drink arrives, you'll probably get a small plate
of something scrumptious. Here's an example of another tapa we got, which was fried calamares (for the record, this was nothing special):

Finally,
you want to linger with your drink and tapa. No need to rush. Talk,
hang out, check your email, whatever. Just don't rush, and don't rush
to pay your bill. Enjoy your time. When you are ready to leave, make
some "packing up moves." You might gather your purse or put your coat
on. Stand up. At this point, the waiter will hand you the check ("la cuenta"), and you
can pay. In Madrid, at least, tapas are normally free, so your bill
should just reflect the drinks you ordered. After you've paid, head off
to your next stop!
On tipping:
We usually leave a little tip if we go for a drink. If the bill is under
5 euro, you might leave 20-30 cents. Maybe a little more. Spain isn't
a big tipping culture, so don't feel obligated. But, if you want to, a
little extra is never a bad thing.